I was single for 20 years between my divorce and my current marriage. When scripture says that a day is like a thousand years, it sure seemed like that for me on so many days during my singleness, especially on holidays and Valentine’s Day! I walked with God during those 20 years and allowed Him to be my provider and protector. Well, to be frank, I really walked with Him the last seven and He dragged me through the first 13!  But, I learned and I kept journals, which allowed me to capture and remember so many of those life experiences.

I was and still am a mess, but I am a work in progress! I would like to use my single mess to help other precious single women avoid the mistakes that I made without having to endure the pain that comes with making them! Sure, I have some success stories, but I also have many embarrassing moments that I would like to help you avoid.

I also get that you may be tired of people saying “just let Jesus be your husband," not to mention all the other advice that married people seem to want to give us! But, I could not understand why married women had Jesus AND a physical husband, but I was supposed to be totally happy and satisfied with just Jesus. I finally understood that Jesus was indeed all that I need. I came to allow my needs to be met only by Him and not by another person. No one on this planet is responsible to make me feel good about myself. I learned that He is trustworthy and He really does love me and have my best interest at heart. That has served me well now that I am married. I thought I would be single for the rest of my life and really that was going to be OK for me. Jesus really was my husband and I learned to walk in Sweet Abandon with Him and life was good!  Don’t think that the minute I started being happy with Jesus, my husband suddenly showed up on the scene! You may have missed the part about my being single for 20 years!

Pamela served in leadership at the one of the largest Singles group in the country at First Baptist Atlanta for almost 15 years. She also served as a Lay Counselor to single women there for seven years and has been mentoring single women for over 20 years. She serves as a Re:new Mentor at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta. She and her husband have served and continue to serve as facilitators of Oasis (Divorce Care) for over 10 years. They also facilitate a Community Group through NPCC.

Pamela has a heart for single women and can so relate to the challenges that we face without an earthly physical husband.